Of Hellos and Goodbyes.

My pregnancy was very challenging in Beaufort - my health wasnt at top levels. I had a constant feeling of dizziness and wanting to throw up. I could barely eat or drink, and I was alone. I had to go to the hospital a few times to get IV drips. All I wanted to do was sleep. But at school, I couldn't. I had to climb up and down stairs, had to move around, had to plan lessons and I had a lot of work. But my brain or heart was not really there. I was miserable.

I admit I was thrilled when I got the transfer. I would be nearer to my husband, nearer to my parents and I could give birth at the hospital of my choosing. I could be home in the weeks near my delivery, and rest well. I was overjoyed.

But to my kids in Beaufort, I'm sorry that I couldnt give my 100% like I did in the past years. And I'm sorry I didnt give a proper goodbye, or wish you all the best. Everything was in a hurry.

I wonder how you all are doing. I dont read FB updates since it's all about love, which I'm not interested to know about. I would like to know if Syaqirah is still writing her blog and whether she has expanded to writing stories. Does Jef still play video games now it's close to SPM? Has Max become more confident now? Is 1 Berlian still cleaning the class? Is 3M's Iskandar writing more in his essays? How is Abu doing? Is Hanafi still wildly inappropriate? Can Hafizal influence his friends to study? Is Murni speaking English more? Are 3 Berlian still humble or have they changed? Does 1 Intan still talk a lot? How are 1M and 1N? Is Saidah doing alright?

I could fill this page with names. Hundreds of names still in my head, of everyone whose book I have ever touched.

I hope the kids I'd taught since I began in Beaufort can remember the cheerful teacher I was. And how much I loved them. And know they are always in my prayers. Follow the right path, kids. Remember my lectures about life. Love can wait. Be good, respectful and hardworking. I wish you all the success and happiness life has to offer.

Happiness.

On 25th August 2014, I officially became a mother. I've had experience being a mother at school, to hundreds of children. And now, Alhamdulillah I'm blessed with my own.

My baby girl is the most beautiful little human I've ever seen.

Childbirth is an extremely difficult and painful experience. There is no way to describe it. But it was worth it for her. I cherish my mother even more now, if that was even possible since I already admire her to bits.

And my wonderful husband held my hand through it all, the blood, sweat and tears. He endured and assured me at my most vulnerable and messed up, his grip tighter than ever.

Thank you Allah for all your gifts and blessings.